As a rule I have a strict YES policy about posting beaver articles from High Country News. After all, they are generally more responsible and thorough than other news souces, and they are very environmental in their focus. Plus they made BEN GOLDFARB which is a very wonderful achievement. And they boasted the very first truly inspiring beaver article I ever read back in 2009. It remains my gold standard of all beaver articles.

So I won’t be writing at all today about the whining debasement from the new intern (Kylie Mohr) there that will never replace you-know-who. She starts the article with a profile about the new fascination for beaver trapping in the area. because of HATS and all the beaver slums that have appeared where they never used to be. I won’t even point out how horrifically wrong she is about beavers causing giardia and ruining the drinking water. What would be the point?

A new tundra, engineered by beavers

You know how it is. Hoardes of beaver gangs raiding the area, knocking over little old ladies in the street, and stealing everyone’s willow. They are really just asking to be trapped. You can’t kill them fast enough.

Yeah yeah yeah, let the trapper say the nice thing about them to make him look more humane. I mean beavers are rotten and Alaska hates them, but they do make more things to shoot. So that’s a plus.

It’s like citing a positive article about serial killers because, you know, they DO cut down on the traffic.

Go read the entire report if you have an extra fork to stick in your eye, but for my money I’d re-read this beauty instead. From the days when Ben Goldfarb was still in his swadling clothes and we had just finished the west coast battle of the century.