My goodness, it looks like the gripping trial to consider possibly slightly inconveniencing Animal Control Officer Mark Johnson is delayed yet again. You will remember that Mark found time after his busy day of dog-catching to shoot two unlucky beavers in a public park after making a special effort to let a passing damsel know his intention. The case was originally transferred because no one wanted to try him in the town where he worked, and it was then moved to nearby Ewing where it was subsequently cancelled because of a ‘conflict’ with the judge before being moved to Lawrence where it has just been cancelled because of a ‘conflict’ with the prosecutor.
Remember in legalese ‘conflict’ means ‘I’m reluctant to find you guilty because you’re my friend or I might need you one day and I don’t want to have to admit it’.
Since he can’t possibly be related to all these people Mr. Johnson is either a magnetically congenial man who hypnotically endears himself without effort to everyone on the bench OR he is relied upon for a steady stream of mysterious favors that no one in New Jersey wants to interrupt. Don’t forget that all of this dramatic shuffling is for an offense considered so minor that even if found guilty and prosecuted to the full extent of the law will still only set him back about 300 dollars.
A new venue has not yet been named in this macabre justice roulette, and maybe that’s really the safest decision. If he doesn’t know where his trial is going to be he won’t have a clue of who to make ‘friends’ with. I say announce the venue the day before and quarantine everyone in the courtroom so he can’t buy anyone dinner.
Who knew a beaver-shooting dog-catcher could be so charming?
