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Council to move ahead with CBE construction

Village Council announced this week that it would move ahead with construction on the western edge of town for the new Center for Beaver Enthusiasm, or CBE.

Council members say the CBE will be a boon to the community, attracting beaver-minded tourists from all over the Miami Valley. According to a press release, the new structure will be built to resemble a giant beaver lodge.

The building’s middle floor will house a state-of-the-art, interactive facility dedicated to educating the public on beaver issues and current events. Potential exhibits include a living history presentation, “When A Beaver Ran For President”; showings of the acclaimed IMAX film “A Series of Unfortunate Beavers”;  a collaborative art project entitled “Tell a Beaver,” in which visitors write their best-kept secrets for beavers to read; and another art project, “Ask a Beaver,” in which visitors write to beavers, asking them to reveal their best-kept secrets.

As in an actual beaver lodge, the CBE’s bottom and top floors will be reserved for eating and for nesting, with a food court downstairs, and a bed and breakfast upstairs.

Aside from its obvious educational benefits and possible employment opportunities for villagers, the CBE will be a visual paean to the village’s favorite new population: the families of beavers who have slowly begun moving into the wetland at the former Glass Farm property. Despite the beavers’ ubiquitous lovableness, not everyone in town supports the building of the CBE.

“I’ve been a part of this community for 37 years; these beavers just sashay into town a few years ago, and now they’re taking over the western end of town. They’re worse than tourists,” said villager Bill Bevington.

“And I guess it’s also not really a reasonable use of public funds,” he added.

The CBE is set to open in 2018. No actual beavers will be allowed inside.

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