And so it goes. The day after the BBC published the best articlec in the history of the world on why to keep beavers , the Telegraph ran this charming piece.
Eccentric baronet offers £1,000 reward to kill beavers on his estate because they are ‘devouring’ his trees
After being extinct in the UK for centuries, the recent reintroduction of beavers into English wildlife was celebrated as a “change in our relationship with the natural world”.
But now an eccentric baronet has threatened to scupper the £750,000 plans by posting a £1,000 ‘dead or alive’ reward for beavers he claims are ruining trees on his estate.
Sir Benjamin Slade, who owns Woodlands Castle, a 17th century house within 12 acres of private parkland in Somerset, says the animals are committing “crimes against trees” and breed “like rabbits”.
What a fine example of British stewardship! No beaver has chewed a tree on that land since 100 years before the castle was built, but rather than greet this return with the awed joy it occasions he wants to pay someone to shoot it for him. Because that’s what rich people do in England, I guess. After buying the outfit, of course.
A colony has subsequently been established in the River Otter in Devon, from where it is believed the beavers on Sir Benjamin’s land may have migrated to the nearby River Tone.
A spokesman for the Devon Wildlife Trust told the Telegraph the five-year plan could cost up to £750,000.
The Trust’s Steve Hussey said: “We would like to make contact with the landowner to see if we can come to another solution that does not involve killing beavers.
“It is true that beavers will cut down some trees but they are not going to fell forests or woodlands or anything like that. You can take very easy straightforward protective measures to stop beavers felling trees.”
Ahh but where’s the fun in that? I mean wrapping trees isn’t NEARLY as cool as shooting beavers. Or pretending to shoot them. But Hurray for that brave little disperser slipping up the river Ptter to try out life on the river Tone. He’s got 500 years to make up for!
Now of course there’s a poll and you NEED to vote because at the moment the assholes in funny clothes are winning. Since I already voted I can’t tell if this link is active anymore, but if its not click on the article and scroll down.
Well, well, well. How very sorry are we that your stock will die out in a few years. That is unless any of you ladies are tempted by is spermscicle. Apparently the castle is rented out for weddings and corporate parties. You know the sort. Let’s hope this round of advertising has a very decidedly negative effect on business.
Too bad. Because Beavers Mate for Life. It could be a theme you know. Ecotourism with a little pagan good luck charm thrown in.
What am I saying? You’re obviously an idiot and incapable of learning new things. Tell me this though, I’m dimly curious. Why would a hunter in green rainy somerset need desert camouflage?
GO VOTE,
2 comments on “Sir beaver-killer”
JSL
October 12, 2016 at 12:59 amRecent viewings suggest that the trees have been damaged by an axe, not beavers. Which leaves two possibilities: the man is mistaken about beaver damage, or beavers have taken to tool-use.
heidi08
October 13, 2016 at 5:36 amHA! God Jane I hope its the second. 🙂