I  couldn’t help but smile as this headline made its way across the media over and over yesterday. Maybe you can guess why,

Beaver-like dams can enhance existing flood management strategies for at-risk communities, study finds

Human-made leaky barriers, which are designed to imitate beaver dams, work in units of 50–100, deliberately raising water levels upstream to slow down river flow through storage and diversion, providing ecological benefits to the river corridor and on nearby farmland.

The study, led by scientists from Cardiff University and the University of Worcester, assessed the impact of leaky barriers at a natural flood management site on a small Shropshire river over a period of two years.

Wow! Isn’t that a shocker! Imitation beaver dams installed by humans can reduce flooding! Say that gives me an crazy idea…

Until now scientists have used numerical modeling based on multiple assumptions to measure their impact, but the Cardiff and Worcester team gathered real data from 105 leaky barriers over a distance of three miles to understand how they operate when they are overtopped by flood waters.

Their study, published in the Journal of Hydrology, found the site’s leaky barriers could store enough water to fill at least four Olympic-sized swimming pools during significant weather events such as Storm Dennis.

You’re kidding! Those ratty old things can store water too? The mind reels. The jaw drops. It’s almost like those beavers knew what they were doing all along. Do they have access to different research?

The team recorded raised water levels up to 0.8 meters at each barrier, which they say slowed the flow of the river during these storm events taking between seven and nine days to return to normal and protecting communities from flooding downstream.

“Where flooding does occur, we often see extreme human and socio-economic cost. And so, it’s vital that we better understand how to combat these events in the most effective way possible.”

The team placed monitoring equipment on three channel-spanning leaky barriers to measure their effects on water levels upstream and downstream over time.

Further data was extracted from drone images of the site using a technique known as photogrammetry, which enabled the team to make extremely accurate measurements of the land elevation in areas of the river covered by trees and other flora.

“For the first time, our study provides quantifiable in-depth evidence of the effectiveness of nature-based solutions in tackling these flood events.We show that leaky barriers are effective in slowing down the flow of the river during periods of rainfall, storing up vast quantities of water which would otherwise rush through causing damage to communities downstream. Instead, this force is slowly released over a period of a week to 10 days,” says Wilson.

Honestly seeing a bunch of researchers document that imitating beavers can be good for creeks just blows my mind. It’s like an entire division of professors suddenly  discovering that sticky spherical networks can be good at capturing invertebrates or covering tree zygotes with dirt can store resources for later consumption.

The phrase “No shit, Sherlock” springs suddenly to mind.

“Leaky barriers are most effective in narrow channels with steep banks and better at reducing flooding during smaller storm events than during larger ones. This tells us that they are a valuable addition to existing flood management strategies.

“Not only that, leaky barriers offer a low-cost solution of between £50 and £500 and are a sustainable flood defense which increases biodiversity in our rivers and on nearby land.”

Or you know if instead making beaver like dams you let actual fucking beavers make them they’d be FREE  and come with a team of engineers to make repairs over time.

Just sayin’.