We are just two weeks from the purifying ritual that occurs every year apparently at SARSAS in Auburn. Before they invite me to come tell the truth about beavers, they conjure the opposite so as to soothe the evil bureaucratic spirits. I guess them helps sneak me in the gates, so to speak, since the powers that be are thus duly convinced they hate beavers.  By the time my booming beaver beatitudes arrive no one of consequence suspects anything.

By evil spirits, I’m referring, of course, to Mary Tappel, who still takes time out of her busy life on the water board to spread vile lies about beavers. I once  called her the ‘human beaver deceiver‘. Her bio in the SARSAS newsletter has some rich allegations of her merry volunteer brigade and their wondrous application  of various nonlethal techniques. But this is my favorite one.

 Mary also dealt with beaver management questions and in foothill areas such as Granite Bay, Loomis, & Roseville; and towards the Bay/Delta area in Fairfield & Martinez, and to the south in Elk Grove, all in creeks and small retention basins.

So not only does Mary have the outright gall to take credit for the unrivaled beaver slaughter in Elk Grove and Granite Bay (The biggest beaver genocide in 2007 and the site of the most depredation permits in 2013-14.) She also PROUDLY proclaims her work in MARTINEZ.

We’re actually on her resume.

What was her service to the home town of John Muir you ask? Fortunately nothing at all that was useful or true. She told the Gazette that beavers breed for 50 years. She told our mayor that flow devices never work. She advised city staff to kill the father beaver so that the mother would be forced to mate with her offspring. And, at a public meeting of 200 people nearly a decade ago said that the beavers were leaving Martinez, and wouldn’t be a problem anymore.

I have to say I remain very grateful for her unique level of competence.

Maybe I’ll thank her publicly when I come present in June and talk about the many transformations that beavers made to our creek in Martinez. I’m constantly reminded of how many individuals’ incompetence was instrumental in saving our beavers. The lawyer on the subcommittee who wanted them trapped, for instance,  was lackadaisical at best in his half-hearted efforts to convince the city they would ruin the creek. He brought a large stuffed beaver once to the meeting with a sign that said ‘send me to Plumas county’. I thought maybe he was just ineffective generally until I saw him speak on another issue in opposition at a meeting. In that instance, he was forceful, competent and had done all his homework, which is what my lawyer friends told me he was like in court.

If THAT attorney had shown his face on the subcommittee we might have had a very different outcome.

As it was, folks just didn’t really care that much. Maybe enough to toss some money to hire a lawyer, but not enough to do research and really examine the allegations in the case. Like say, um, me for instance. If I had been my opposition, there would have been trouble.

Thanks, Mary.