Looks like someone else felt a little snarky when they watched “Beavers Behaving Badly.” I think this column complains about all the wrong things, but its a fun read. Thank you to Bruce Thompson for sending it my way.
Natural World – Beavers Behaving Badly: a sad way to treat a noble species.
Beavers are interesting creatures. Their instinctive urge to build dams has shaped America, and the lush habitats their waterways create makes them an essential part of the country’s ecology. It is hard, however, to take beavers seriously. They’re condemned by their unfortunate Bash Street teeth and junk in the trunk waddle to be the comedy figures of the animal kingdom. I’m sorry to tell you, beavers, but all that ‘keystone species’ shit you’ve been doing – it’s all for nothing. No one can respect an animal that looks like a child’s pyjama case.
There’s no dark side to a beaver. No air of mystery. Beavers will forever possess a gravitational pull for those who believe their name alone contains a wealth of comic potential. This is a sad, sad thing for the noble beaver, but do they really deserve the indignity of being narrated by Rob Brydon doing his best uncle-at-a-wedding routine? The secret beaver-cam is capturing a family of snuggling beavers as we’re told that the animals mate in the winter. “Lets face it,” says Rob with a silent chuckle, “locked in by the ice for months on end, there’s not much else to do!” I’m all for the dumbing down of television, but has it really come to this? This brave nest of beavers is trying to breed in the face of debilitating conditions, and all they get is Bryn from Gavin & Stacey cracking one-for-the-dads jokes.
Now I agree about the narration of this film being irritatingly perky, but who does not take beavers seriously? Either people are seriously upset about them, like the anglers in your country, or seriously excited about them, like the wildlife trust folk in Devon, but they all seem to take them seriously.
I like the line about the pajama case, though. (Even though you spelled it wrong.)
The captive is driven out of town while his beaver life partner grieves. Come spring, her bloated body will rise to the top of the thawed ditch and no one will lay flowers on her beaver grave. Did she regret it, in those final hours, choosing freedom over love? This question is never answered, as laughing boy is uncharacteristically quiet for this bit. Instead, it’s back to the hidden camera in a beaver lodge, where some fwuffy beaver kits are having a nice sleep. Honestly, it’s simply untenable, I refuse to be patro … but, awww, look at their funny faces!
Gotcha! AHA! Baby beavers are not just puppy cute, they are inescapably adorable aren’t they. Told you. Now they’ve got your attention.
Now that one’s having a little scratch! Yes NW:BBB, you’re right, it is just like me in the morning. Maybe this condescending fuzz isn’t so bad after all. I know I should beaver-y ashamed, but I can’t help myself.
Yep, anyone who starts watching beavers will probably keep watching them a little longer. They’re compelling that way.
Consider yourself warned.
