Real CA Trees

My goodness, it looks like the gripping trial to consider possibly slightly inconveniencing Animal Control Officer Mark Johnson is delayed yet again. You will remember that Mark found time after his busy day of dog-catching to shoot two unlucky beavers in a public park after making a special effort to let a passing damsel know his intention. The case was originally transferred because no one wanted to try him in the town where he worked, and it was then moved to nearby Ewing where it was subsequently cancelled because of a ‘conflict’ with the judge before being moved to Lawrence where it has just been cancelled because of a ‘conflict’ with the prosecutor.

Remember in legalese ‘conflict’ means ‘I’m reluctant to find you guilty because you’re my friend or I might need you one day and I don’t want to have to admit it’.

Since he can’t possibly be related to all these people Mr. Johnson is either a magnetically congenial man who hypnotically endears himself without effort to everyone on the bench OR he is relied upon for a steady stream of mysterious favors that no one in New Jersey wants to interrupt. Don’t forget that all of this dramatic shuffling is for an offense considered so minor that even if found guilty and prosecuted to the full extent of the law will still only set him back about 300 dollars.

A new venue has not yet been named in this macabre justice roulette, and maybe that’s really the safest decision. If he doesn’t know where his trial is going to be he won’t have a clue of who to make ‘friends’ with. I say announce the venue the day before and quarantine everyone in the courtroom so he can’t buy anyone dinner.

Who knew a beaver-shooting dog-catcher could be so charming?

The case against Princeton Animal Control Officer Mark Johnson is scheduled to be heard in Lawrence Township Municipal Court on Oct. 12 at 10 a.m.

You’ll remember that New Jersey Animal Control Officer Mark Johnson took it upon himself to shoot some pesky beavers near the open air theater of Peteranello Gardens, after first pointedly stopping to tell the nice woman who came to watch them of his murderous intent. You will also recall that after the story broke there was scrambling at all levels to say that the shooting was neither authorized nor ordered at the higher levels. You may also recall that the maximum fine Mark could pay for his castorcide was 300 dollars, but that the local judge couldn’t hear the case because they were bridge partners or some such thing. It has now been nearly four months since the beavers were killed and the paper reports the case is finally going to trial.

New Jersey has waited a DAM long time for its 300 dollars of justice.

Mr. Johnson is accused of illegally shooting two beavers in Pettoranello Gardens in Community Park North in May. Officials have said the beavers were deemed a “nuisance.”

The incident has raised concern because there was no permit issued for the trapping of the beavers or any beaver activity with the state Division of Fish and Wildlife. A permit is needed for the trapping of a beaver. It is illegal to shoot beavers, which are a protected species in New Jersey, according to the game code of the state. Beavers cannot be relocated either.

The case will not be heard at Princeton Township due to a conflict with the judge, said Corinne Sliker-Monda, Princeton Township court administrator. It was also transferred from Ewing Township due to a conflict.

Well good luck Mark, I’m not really worried about you because if for some remarkable reason they DID decide to fine you, you could easily afford it with the four months of uninterrupted salary the city has been paying you. I suppose its vaguely humiliating which is a kind of consequence, so I’m grateful for the kabuki wrist-slap. I’d love to see 20 children with beaver tails waiting outside the courtroom so that some news cameras can add to the burn. Maybe next time you’ll think about using a flow device or calling our friends at the Unexpected Wildlife Refuge.

Oh and good news about Central Frontenac, the story I reported on a couple days ago. The mayor herself wrote me back, committed to using a flow device and getting it right, and she was very happy to learn that her name was passed along to the CBC producer who is in her neck of the woods and looking for a local story to follow. They’re supposed to talk this week. So look for Central Frontenac to be a star in next year’s “Beaver Whisperer” project!