ATHENS (TN) — For decades, hard-working beavers that call Piney Creek home have been wreaking havoc on the residents of Ardmore.
Dams built in the creek cause water to back up into the yards of property owners, killing trees, flooding roads and forcing the city’s wastewater treatment facility to work overtime.
After a request from District 1 County Commissioner Gary Daly, Ardmore officials recently decided to take matters into their own hands. Crews have already destroyed at least eight dams and are working on four others.
Apparently there are beavers on Piney creek in Athens TN. They build dams in one county and flood the other. These shockingly industrious rodents have now built an even dozen that residents are hard pressed to remove. Over the years officials have brought in a student group, a wildlife expert, and the army core of engineers. Nothing seems to help because:
“They multiply quicker than you can shoot them,”
Yes that’s right. Beavers reproduce in less time than it takes to reload in Tennessee.
Wow, that’s terrible. I had no idea things were so dire! Since beavers only enter estrus 12-24 hours once a year and offspring take 2-3 years to reach sexual maturity (and elected officials never exaggerate) we can only assume that it takes upwards of 364 days to load a rifle in Ardmore County! Goodness, that must be grueling work! I guess the police are similarly challenged. Their crime rate must be enormous.
Maybe the entire state shares the same musket and social services is using it this week? (Skip to 4:04 for arsenal reenactment.)
The Colbert Report
Get More: Colbert Report Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,Video Archive
