There was a very funny set Wanda Sykes did when she guest hosted the Ellen Show where she read the headlines from certain kinds of very predictable stories and shook her head knowingly saying “Oh White people“,

Well imagine I’m doing that right now. Only saying things like “Oh water people” and “Ohhh otter people”. Sometimes when you can just tell how a stories going to end, it shouldn’t even be allowed to start. We wrote about this story three days ago, and we predicted this would happen.

Sonoma Water Agency cuts notch in beaver dam in Sonoma

Armed with a chainsaw, workers with the Sonoma Water Agency caused a stir among beaver fans last week when they used the equipment to cut a “bypass hole” in the beaver dam near a trail in Sonoma.

Sonoma resident Robert Burkhart, who said he often walks his dog on that path, saw the workers and tried to get them to at least cut the bypass on the sides rather than in the center of the dam. But they wouldn’t listen, they were just following orders, he said.

“I know there are other ways this can be done,” Burkhart said.

Burkhart took photos and video of the workers, which shows one man slicing through the branches that create the beaver dam.

Now you just KNOW he was not happy to be photographed chainsawing the beaver dam. But he did it anyway. Because it was noisy and fun. And involved some kind of risk and destruction. What could go wrong? Do you remember the grinning face of that worker lowering the turkey into the machine over the shoulder of Sarah Palin? Yeah, sure you do. I’m pretty sure it was the exact same face.

“They cut a notch in the dam. Tonight the beaver will fix that. Beaver don’t stop building,” said Caitlin Cornwall, planning and partnerships advisor at Sonoma Ecology Center.

Cornwall said the notch was cut for flood control, but beaver will always fix an area where they hear water running.

“They are stimulated to build when they hear water trickling through the dam,” she said.

There is an alternative to cutting into the dam, she said. Called a “beaver deceiver” or pond leveler, it connects the two sides of the stream that are bisected by the beaver dam.

“It reduces the lateral width of the pond without stimulating the beaver,” Cornwall said.

Well, not exactly. The beaver is still stimulated to rebuild his protection. Because he’s not in a coma. It’s just that he can’t. And if we’re lucky he eventually stops trying. And a beaver deceiver and pond leveler are two different things. But I guess that’s neither here nor there.

“(Beaver dams) are incredibly effective at catching and holding water, which our state needs more of,” she said. “Beaver ponds create wonderful biological habitat areas. This is a much bigger issue than just in Sonoma.”

Burkhart said the area where the dam is located is a beautiful ecological area. Beaver dams are important biodiversity habitat that help prevent soil erosion and create pools where fish, birds and other wildlife can live. Their ponds also help filter pollution out of the water, recharge aquifers, and retain silt. They also act as firebreaks, and can slow down floods.

Okay, We like THIS part a lot. Robert Burkhart was the reason we even found out about this story in the first place. Thanks Robert, He alerted folks who alerted me. We LOVE that he knows and cares about beavers in the state. We’re less enamored of the photos he provided to the reporter. These were taken of the site on his many sightings.

Now if you’re thinking to yourself, , hey I don’t remember beavers climbing trees! You’d be dead right. Because these lovely photos are of river otters. No doubt enjoying the benefits the beaver dams provided. No doubt there ARE beavers somewhere nearby because otters don’t build dams that need to be chain sawed but these, as we say in the trade, ent them.

I can dimly remember a million years ago back when I first started watching our beavers seeing an otter sitting on the lodge and thinking, hey wait, that looks different, is that a beaver? Ahh memories. We all start somewhere. I’m sure there are actual beavers nearby. Who else would build a dam and upset SCWA?

“It’s exciting that we have these big smart ecosystem engineers here who are members of our Sonoma Valley community,” Cornwall said.

Calls and emails sent to the Sonoma Water Agency were not returned by press time.

Nope. I’m sure they were not. I’m sure staff nipped out the door and turned off the lights after their chainsaw massacre. Because that’s what they do. If enough people write the paper complaining theremight be an stern email from the mayor when they get back to work. But I wouldn’t hold my breath. The word ‘notching’ is a pretty sophisticated beaver coverup. And they already have the ecologists and the papers repeating it, I’d say they get a bit of heat for a day and then it all goes away.

Until next time.

But it was fun way to start Christmas Eve. Have a wonderful day. Someone shared this yesterday and I had to add one missing part before I could share it with you.