Does this happen every June where it seems like everything is starting to come together for the festival and then suddenly something goes very wrong and everything falls apart? I try hard to take it all in stride and to not take every single bit of good and bad news personally. I know that its not about me and that the big picture is about beavers and raising awareness. But lets face it, I take do it personally. I probably wouldn’t bother if I didn’t. I can’t help it. Good news means I’m doing an okay job, and bad news means I’m a miserable failure, and that’s just the way it is. It’s been that way for eight years and the ninth isn’t likely to be any different.
Yesterday the sine waves were so dramatic I might as well have been an 11 year old girl feeling elated and rejected by a misunderstood invitation to a birthday party. Allow me to explain by illustrating a single 24 hours.
In the morning I was happy to learn that Brock Dolman of the OAEC would be coming this year and was willing to don his ‘Buster Beaver’ costume and give his beloved beaver benefit speech on stage this year! That would be an awesome way to remind people why beavers were worth celebrating and a great new development for the festival.
Hours later I was very disappointed to hear that belts were tightening at Safari West and they would only be donating a jeep tour this year for the auction. The overnight package has always been our best seller and we really needed to make up funds after the mural expense. The package would be sorely missed. I could not prevent the sudden flurry of dark, negative thoughts, that I wasn’t doing a good enough job, that I didn’t ask nicely enough, or often enough, that I didn’t make people feel appreciated enough, that no one cared about beavers anymore – you name it, I thought it. I was slightly cheered to learn that we might still have the Junior Keepers come down to help out at the event because those kids were a real godsend. Yeah!
Keep calm on and carry on. I still had two key phone calls that day I needed to make for the event: Folkmanis and the sound guy. They hadn’t responded to emails which are SO much easier to end than actually asking aloud. I was reminded of dreadful days working on the research part for the dissertation where I had to visit key important people and ask for very important things – a most wretched chore. One particular hospital administrator was always so busy adding profit margins or firing doctors that his guard dog secretary would coldly tell me he had “no time in his schedule today” and to try again tomorrow. It always made me think of the Wizard of Oz.
It only was by sheer disembodied will I eventually managed to get past that secretary and talk the hospital head into letting me do my research project at that hospital. And you know the rest. I thought of that encouragement while I managed to call Folkmanis. Contrary to my gloomy expectations Elaine the marketing director was so nice and cheerful when I finally reached her that I was filled with joy and hope. They would make a lovely puppet donation for the auction. Of course anyone would be happy to help the beavers! Maybe I was doing an okay job after all having nursed these relationships in such positive ways over the years that folks were happy to help! Everything would be okay even without a big donation and stop worrying.
Later in the day I heard from one of our regulars, Tom Rusert at Sonoma Birding, that they wouldn’t be coming this year and I was very disappointed. Tom and Darren had been with us nearly since the beginning. They were among our strongest supporters. And it was winning Tom’s support initially that really made a difference on our visibility. What if nobody came this year?
I tried not to think about it and mechanically dialed John Koss, audio wonderman. To my delight he said he’d be willing to volunteer his invaluable time and equipment again and run the stage. I was over joyed. We had sound! It was going to work out. He was just finishing a long running show for Theatreworks the week before but it should work out for him to be there. He’d come at 8 that morning and start hooking up to the solar panel.
Hurray! Maybe I was doing a good job after all! Now that we had the audio power all we needed was our usual musical wonders and everything would be perfect!
Then I heard from Lynn Quinones of the Alhambra Valley Bluegrass band that had played every SINGLE festival since we started in 2008. They had bravely played when we had no stage AND no audio. Then had been thrilled when conditions improved. Lynn had nominated us for the John Muir Education award. She loved the beavers and I never every doubted that their great music would start the day again for us.
“We may not be able to play this year“, she said sadly.
I think I need to go lie down now. And watch this over and over.
