I had the MOST fun day yesterday playing with the amazing lyrics from Jerry Herman’s Hello Dolly. This particular tune had escaped my attention but it impressed itself upon me again in the fine soundtrack of the Marvelous Mrs, Maisel. Here’s a reminder in case you need it.
The necessary changes had to be made.
It has always been a beaver who arranges things,
For the water, and protection, it derives
It has always been a beaver who arranges things
Like watersheds, and habitats and lives.
Now for the fun part.
If you want your floods prevented, drought and fires circumvented,
Just leave everything to me.
If you want your salmon guarded, fish restored or blight bombarded
Just leave everything to me.
Get diversity explosion, treat nitrates or block erosion
Keep pollution from the sea
If you want your wells to deepen, carbon sunk or frogs a leapin’
My system will ecoengineer those systems
Just leave everything to me.
You can see these versus practically write themselves can’t you? Oh where is Barbara when we need her!
If you want your otters fatter, orcas fed and rivers matter
Just leave everything to me.
If you want mosquitos eaten, bats in flight and dead zones beaten
Just leave everything to me
If you want more ducks for hunting, migratory birds and bunting
They’re my friends as you will see
If you want to save the planet, let me do what I can dammit.
My system will ecoengineer those systems
Just leave everything to me.
If you want to help the critters, mink and muskrat and their litters
Just leave everything to me.
If you want your greenbelt living, species boom and plants forgiving,
Just leave everything to me.
If you want your treeline greener, natives lush or wastewood leaner
Just leave everything to me.
If you want your trout kept coolly, streams undried and creeks unruly
I’ll discretely use my own discretion
I’ll arrange for making all arrangements
I’ll proceed to plan the whole procedure
Just leave everything to me.
