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Woodpecker Update


Our Friend Richard Paddock of the LA times continues his smart and savvy reporting on urban wilderness. 22 woodpeckers killed so far at Rossmoor. Fish and Game say they’ll inspect the site to see if the permit is appropriate. Rossmoor says it decided to kill the birds because it didn’t want “outsiders” to make decisions for them.

Does that mean if we all wanted the birds dead they’d be protesting to protect them?

Let’s try the madlibs reference, shall we? (no offense, Richard.)

Headline: (_Boring in on a Woodpecker Controversy)

City name + immature woodpecker pun

 

 

The town of (_Rossmoor_) is worried about woodpeckers that have already pecked more

insert name

than (3000 holes in their residences) . Birds haves caused (damage to a dozen homes) and

insert alarming behavior                                                                    insert hyperbole

 

 

 

property owners are concerned it could get worse. Mr.  (_Orum__) who lives in the

Name of rich, selfish man who’s never been outside.

 

 

 

oak woods says that the birds are (_a pain in the neck) and have been making noise and

Verb meaning destroying

.

ruining trim with no end in sight. No one wants to harm the birds but there is

 

 

(_170,000 worth of damage_). The city manager, (Mr. Orum who serves on the

Synonym for No Choice

 

 

committee seeking to stop the woodpeckers damage) says if the birds must be stopped.

Name of another man who went outide once to hunt.

 

 

(Some days, the woodpeckers hammer for hours) The association has contacted

Insert Pandora’s Box remark

 

 

 

(The Department of Fish & Game) for permission to bring in  
Appropriate “wink & nod” Regulatory Body

 

a (sharpshooter)

Euphemism for exterminator

 

Just Sayin’….

 

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