Because the beaver isn't just an animal; it's an ecosystem!

The Wages of Beaver Hunting


These cold and bedraggled teens were dragged out of  the  River when their boat got snagged on a tree trunk in the Tenn-Tom waterway during a night-time beaver safari. Rescue workers had a hard time finding them. Seems the good-ol boys were out doing some beaver shooting that night and found themselves wet and immersed. Apparently they were trapped in 5 feet of water, which suggests to me that either they were waiting for their growth spurts or they were drunk.

Fortunately the authorities arrived just in time.

The young man who called 911 saw the search lights from one of the vessels and fired several rounds from a .22 rifle in the air in hopes it would narrow down the location. The first CFD boat (Talyor, Edmonson & Smith) managed to navigate the various tree stumps slyly hiding just beneath the surface and pull up next to the stranded boys. The second rescue boat and the civilian craft were blocked by a beaver dam. The young men were discovered just north of a beaver dam around 11:45pm, with the 12 ft Jon boat about 80% submerged in the water. [One of the CFD rescue boats allegedly snagged one of the beavers that the boys had shot, causing the 40 horsepower engine to briefly stall. It quickly became untangled after a few more pulls –CK]

Did you catch that? The rescue boat was delayed by one of the dead beavers floating in the water! The rascal! But they wriggled it free and rescued the assassins. What a relief.

The young man who called 911 saw the search lights from one of the vessels and fired several rounds from a .22 rifle in the air in hopes it would narrow down the location. The first CFD boat (Talyor, Edmonson & Smith) managed to navigate the various tree stumps slyly hiding just beneath the surface and pull up next to the stranded boys. The second rescue boat and the civilian craft were blocked by a beaver dam. The young men were discovered just north of a beaver dam around 11:45pm, with the 12 ft Jon boat about 80% submerged in the water. [One of the CFD rescue boats allegedly snagged one of the beavers that the boys had shot, causing the 40 horsepower engine to briefly stall. It quickly became untangled after a few more pulls –CK]One victim was still in the boat, and two more were chest deep in the water holding another young man who had somewhat succumbed to the elements. The fifth man, presumed to be the caller, was near the shore still clinging to the tree. Rescue workers said although the boys were only about 80yds from shore, and that the water was around 5ft deep where they wrecked, it can be assumed that the dark night sky and subfreezing temperature kept them from attempting to leave the scene. [Although I was not able to deduce the position or face of each young man, the names of the boys are believed to be as follows: Paul Scott Johnson, Matthew Dowdy, and Jeremy, Josh and Christopher Davidson- CK]

Because nothing helps a rescue effort like several shots fired into the air in the dark. It’s not like those bullets could fall back down and possibly whack your rescuers in the head. I’m sure they would have swam (or walked) to safety but the water was “freezing’ and they were ‘succommbing to the elements’. (Mind you the article describes the water as freezing, which, being that it was still WATER it couldn’t possibly be, but it sure reads like a Titanic worthy scene to me.)

The first young man exited the vessel at 12:00am sharp with five rifles in tow, seeming unaffected by the ordeal- as he was wearing full-size chest waders. The other four men were taken one by one from the boat, wrapped in towels and escorted up the steep boat slip to the waiting ambulances. [All four of the soaking wet teens made it up the incline mostly under their own power-quite a feat considering spending the better part of an hour in the river. The young men were reported to have not been wearing life jackets –CK]

Five rifles. That’s good. We wouldn’t want one of the boys to feel left out. At least they all got to participate in shooting aquatic mammals through the head before the pesky snag ruined their fun. I’m sure all those rifles took up a lot of room. No space leftover for sissy life jackets, for example.

The teenagers told rescue workers they had been hunting Beavers from their boat when it became snagged on a stump of some sort, and they began to rock the boat back and forth in an effort to free it. The stern of the boat began to quickly take on water, and they were left marooned. (Differing accounts have the boat with a hole in the hull of the boat) The men were pulled onto the CFD rescue boat and, after a rendezvous with the second CFD boat midstream, headed back to the boat slip at the Hairston Bend Hunt Club.

I’m just happy that the rescue crew didn’t stand at the water refusing to intervene because one of the parents hadn’t paid their taxes. And, unless you’re a beaver, the story has a happy ending, so everyone’s a winner. Best beaver killing story ever.

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