Because the beaver isn't just an animal; it's an ecosystem!

The peasants are revolting! (Beaver version)


It is impossible to read this article from the banks of lake Huron in Michigan without remembering the posterior-covering things told to us by our city staff when our beaver dams were threatened. What we learned in those early days is that everyone protects everyone else, and city attorneys are every bit as difficult and narrow-minded as you would expect them to be. And then some. Save this in case your city manager ever starts to do the same things, or just enjoy this trip down memory lane.

Beaver dam removal leads to complaints by public

LINCOLN — The Alcona County Road Commission has received complaints for the removal of a beaver dam on Cedar Lake that allegedly was causing drainage and flooding issues for residents.

Managing Director Jesse Campbell told trustees during a meeting Tuesday that although the dam may be gone, complaints from some members of the public still will be coming in.

Campbell, who acts as the county’s drain commissioner through a mandate by the Alcona County Board of Commissioners, said the dam was ordered removed by county Prosecutor Tom Weichel who is the drain commission’s attorney.

 Chairman Alfred Scully said one complainant took the matter to the Cedar Lake Improvement Board and alleged the county made a mess of the dam removal, leaving debris in the area. Scully said this was Friday, the first day of the three-day removal project.

We’re in the middle of the job but he (complained) that we don’t know what we’re doing. We worked on it, and left a mess (he said) but it wasn’t like we were done,” Scully said.

We were just getting to that! Honest! It’s the way cities work. First you make the mess thoroughly and then you wait two days to see if anyone complains and then you clean up the mess.  HONEST we were coming back on Monday to finish. (If we had to.) And our decision to engage in destruction on a friday had NOTHING whatsoever at all to do with the fact that we wanted the office to be closed and locked by the time you came home from work, saw the mess, and tried to call our bosses about it.

Campbell said some in the public questioned the process of dam removal in emails to the road commission. He said the county was in its legal right to remove the dam and did not need permits to do so.

“Under the drain law of 1940 in the road law there is no permit needed for beaver dam removal affecting a county drain or within the road right of way,” Campbell wrote.

One complainant was concerned with the dam removal because the presence of heavy equipment disturbed duck hunting areas near a 20-acre parcel of property.

Ripping a dam with heavy equipment might affect duck hunting? I’ve got news for you. Ripping out the dam PERIOD might affect duck hunting. Just think about all that tasty forage the silt and mud removal is going to ruin. Or the safe nesting spots that will be lost forever.

Campbell said two beavers will be killed in the removal following Michigan Department of Environmental Quality guidelines and the county would reimburse the road commission for the work, like many other subcontracting jobs.

“The person didn’t feel that we should be there and they may get an attorney,” Campbell said. “This may open up a big can of worms.”

Ohhh I think the proverbial can has been opened. And I think you are well aware of that – which is why you’re trying to cover your tracks with this weaselly little statement to the board.

One concern was the land and area where the dam was removed had ground that was disturbed.

As far as refurbishing the area where the dam was removed, Campbell said soil could not be put back into the area because it could contaminate the lake water with silt, though straw could be put in place as a maintenance measure.

“Within two years all the stuff is going to come back in, the vegetation is going to come back,” he said.

Of course we couldn’t smooth down the muck after we made it, because you know lake Huron would silt up and that would be terrible! I mean ripping out the dam probably released a little silt too, but it was necessary. Don’t worry, I know its an eyesore in your front yards now, but in two years time it will all have grown back! You won’t even know we were here.

That’s nothing. In two year’s time more beavers will move in and build a dam. Then we’ll come back and do it all again. The county reimburses for stuff like that doesn’t it?

Scully told Campbell that in the future all questions from the public would be directed to Weichel for his legal expertise. He said he was concerned with the rudeness of some of the complainants who personally contacted him by telephone.

I’ve never been spoken to by such ruffians in all my born days!  My virgin ears are still stinging! There’s no cause to get personally RUDE just because my crew climbed into your front yard and ripped out the pond leaving mud and sticks all over (and that coke can). Insulting the dating history of my dear old mother is WAY out of line!

How Rude!

Ahh the pearl-clutching and righteous affront! It’s like we’ve gone back in time right down to the full tempers of the day. I’m pretty sure there’s a rule book somewhere that all city employees have access to.

First stall.
Then Lie.
Then Say there’s an ordinance.
Then act OFFENDED!

Remember when our public works director told staff that he didn’t want my husband to go to the subcommittee meetings anymore because he had scowled at him? (Truly willful scrowling can be a burden.) And remember when some smart-ass emailed the city council member after they were quoted saying the beavers should be euthanized by sarcastically saying maybe their children should be euthanized? And of course a swat team was brought in and the full 11 member police force had to be paid overtime at the meeting because of the “death threat?”

You know exactly what the drama playing out here is. Cities do what they want first, and find reasons to justify it second. They were just doing their jobs. If they didn’t remove that dam lives could be lost. When they said that offensive thing they were only joking. Can’t you take a joke? They’re only beavers, after all.

Ahh thanks for the memories, Alcona.

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