Our Friend Richard Paddock of the LA times continues his smart and savvy reporting on urban wilderness. 22 woodpeckers killed so far at Rossmoor. Fish and Game say they’ll inspect the site to see if the permit is appropriate. Rossmoor says it decided to kill the birds because it didn’t want “outsiders” to make decisions for them.
Does that mean if we all wanted the birds dead they’d be protesting to protect them?
Let’s try the madlibs reference, shall we? (no offense, Richard.)
Headline: (_Boring in on a Woodpecker Controversy)
City name + immature woodpecker pun
The town of (_Rossmoor_) is worried about woodpeckers that have already pecked more
insert name
than (3000 holes in their residences) . Birds haves caused (damage to a dozen homes) and
insert alarming behavior insert hyperbole
property owners are concerned it could get worse. Mr. (_Orum__) who lives in the
Name of rich, selfish man who’s never been outside.
oak woods says that the birds are (_a pain in the neck) and have been making noise and
Verb meaning destroying
.
ruining trim with no end in sight. No one wants to harm the birds but there is
(_170,000 worth of damage_). The city manager, (Mr. Orum who serves on the
Synonym for No Choice
committee seeking to stop the woodpeckers damage) says if the birds must be stopped.
Name of another man who went outide once to hunt.
(Some days, the woodpeckers hammer for hours) The association has contacted
Insert Pandora’s Box remark
(The Department of Fish & Game) for permission to bring in
Appropriate “wink & nod” Regulatory Body
a (sharpshooter)
Euphemism for exterminator
Just Sayin’….
