Patriotic and waterlogged Massachusetts is at it again, with this report in the Boston Globe about some pesky beavers flooding the highway and affecting traffic.
Beavers have long battled humans over the flow of water, and they usually end up on the losing side. But a pair of the aquatic rodents plying a patch of wetlands in Lawrence were so crafty that they apparently outwitted state officials, at least briefly.
Apparently the outwitted officials made the atavistic decision to bring in back hoes and destroy the dam. What a novel idea. Go to the source. I bet no one ever tried that again. Gosh, I wonder how that worked for them?
But as often happens in such struggles with beavers, the numbers of which have increased dramatically in the past decade in Massachusetts, the animals quickly rebuilt their dam.
Ohh sorry, you must have the very rare kind of “rebuilding” beaver. That neeeeeeever happens. Tough luck, that. Nice how the author of the article slipped in a mention about increasing numbers due to pesky humane legislation. Hmmm, is the suggestion box empty or does hardworking Mass Trans have another idea?
The smart-thinking officials decided to fight back by sticking a long, plastic pipe through the dam, which accomplished the same goal as before, again draining the road and lowering the water level in the surrounding pond.
Wow! Great thinking! I can’t imagine how that could POSSIBLY go wrong. A pipe is really all you need. Those dumb beavers won’t know what’s draining away and that pipe will totally confuse them. How could that possibly not work? Someone needs a bonus. Good thing he solved it because that’s two days beaver-battling and Mass-Trans is probably really busy and has other things to do. Whew, problem solved.
But the indefatigable beavers weren’t fooled. They ripped off some tree branches and used mud to clog the pipe’s small opening.
What? You’re kidding me! They plugged the pipe? Wow I didn’t see that coming. I’m shocked, shocked I tell you to learn that beavers have enough intelligence to fix leaks. Someone get a white coat out to study these particular brainy beavers. Looks like Mass Trans needs to spend a third day on this, maybe even crack open a book or pick up the cell phone to ask for advice. I had hoped it wouldn’t come to this, but gosh I hope this time is more successful.
But this time, they had to build a cage around the pipe to keep the beavers at bay and allow the water to flow through the culvert beneath Route 114 and into the Shawsheen River.
Whoa! Put up a wind block! You’re blowing my mind. A cage? Wow that is some kind of brilliant. Did it work this time? Ohhh it did. Sigh, three days of work wasted on some beavers, well I’m sure there aren’t any potholes that need filling, faded signs that have to be repainted or overpasses to retrofit. Gosh its too bad this brilliant (but delayed) idea wasn’t available somewhere accessible, so that people could find it out where ever they are, like on the internet…then a person could spend 5 minutes online looking up solutions before they brought out a crew of 7 to use the back hoe.
The article ends bemoaning the sad demise of leghold traps and the subsequent recovery of the beaver population.The beaver-beleagered conservation manager comments on their destructive habits.
“I have never taken as much grief over anything as I have with beavers,’’ Lilly said. “They are very unpopular animals.’’
Really? Never? You mean people prefer mountain lion eating their poodles and rabid skunks biting their house cats and raccoons making a supper of their koi all more than beavers? Hmm. Maybe that’s true. Other animals pass through your property and bug you for a moment. Beavers are true American settlers, and find a place to move in. If their behavior bothers you today you can expect more of it tomorrow.
The whole article irritated me greatly, (and don’t get me started on a journalist who starts FOUR of his sentences with the conjunction “but”). They got a letter which I sent a copy of to beaver friend Mike Callahan. He had two things to say about it; the first being that he does have a contract with Massachusetts Highway but that its a big organization and the left hand doesn’t always know what the right hand is doing.
The second?”Remind me never to get on your bad side”.
The above provision shall not apply to the use of prohibited devices by federal and state departments of health or municipal boards of health for the purpose of protection from threats to human health and safety. A threat to human health and safety may include, but shall not be limited to:(d) beaver or muskrat-caused flooding of a public or private way, driveway, railway or airport runway or taxi-way;
