Gosh this NEVER happens. Some inexplicable and uncanny beavers are blocking a culvert in Salem and threatening traffic. Because this kind of behavior is extremely rare and no one EVER has invented a proven solution for it in the past, the authorities need a special permit so they can kill these animals right away, even though trapping season is over. Do you think they’ll be able to get one in time? I’m on pins and needles.

Salem leaders have hired a trapper to remove beavers from a stretch of Rattlesnake Ledge Road that nearly flooded last week after the animals blocked a pair of drainage culverts that run underneath the street. It’s a recurring problem that officials say creates a safety hazard for motorists and leaves the town liable if there’s an accident.

First Selectman Kevin Lyden said the town is working with the state Department of Environmental Protection on the effort, and a long-term solution could be in place soon to keep the animals away permanently. Read more: Beaver dams create potential road flooding hazard in Salem

You’ll be happy to know that Department of Environmental Protection took it upon themselves to protect Salem’s culverts from its beavers and allowed the family to be exterminated. I’m told the selected selectman assures us that even though this is a temporary solution he will be planning a permanent solution for NEXT TIME. I can’t wait.

Okay, I’ve only written about this about this 438 times, in counties from Georgia to Saskatchewan, but maybe its time for an easy visual syllogism instead: