Ken Cook of Carol Stream, Illinois “doesn’t want to live” with chicken wire around his plants. Beavers are chewing trees, and the neighbors are worried they could fall on a house. They’ve tried coyote urine, and have been known to throw fruit at the offending rodents. They keep coming back. Almost like they think it’s winter and they need to store food before it freezes. The nerve. Those trees could fall on a house! (Never mind that the beaver wants the tree to fall the other direction.) Ken’s working with village manager Joe Breinig to bring in trappers.
When the issue first came to light, village officials sought advice from professionals on how to handle the situation “They recommended chicken wire and we’ve gone out in some of the public areas and done that,” Breinig said. “However, these beavers seem to be more aggressive than one might normally expect. The amount of damage seems to be pretty significant.”
Ahhh the rare aggressive beaver! Say no more. I’m sorry for your misfortune. You mean you have beavers that really really want to eat? Gosh, those kind are the worst! Tough luck. The reported temperature for Carol Stream Illinois today is 18 degrees. These beavers are working on their food cache that will feed a family when the ice gets too thick to break through. Imagine if you had to go to the grocery store today and buy enough food to last until spring? And what if you did that, and stocked up your pantry, and then someone moved you 15 miles down the road to a new house? Well not actually to a house. Just dumped you in the water, with no shelter and no pantry?
“We’re trying to do this somewhat delicately to not offend anybody,” Breinig said. “There are those who take the position that it’s a living animal and you try to do what you can and those who want them killed. We try to go the first route and not kill them.”
Mr. Breinig, lets be perfectly blunt here. It’s December. You’re moving a family out of their territory away from their waterworks and food storage and into a place where they have nothing. You are going to kill them. There is no way that 5 beavers can find a new place to live and a new pond deep enough to keep from freezing solid and lay in enough food to keep their family alive for three months. You’re killing them, you just aren’t being obvious about it.
“I don’t want to live with chicken wire around my plants,” Cook said.
Well there you have it. Who could expect a man to suffer so? So what if beaver habitat improves the watershed and increases bird and wildlife? Wrapping trees is a hardship no man should endure. It’s like another “trail of tears”. Of course if you were going to do it, I wouldn’t recommend chicken wire, since beavers are lots bigger than chickens. I would recommend 2×4 steel gauged wire. They make it in green for the visually sensitive. Or maybe a man of your delicate sensibilities would prefer to use the sand painting method described here. Choose a color that matches your precious trunk, mix in some sand, and paint the base with the grit. The texture will be unattractive to the beavers, and they’ll look elsewhere.
What am I saying? Just go ahead and kill them. Merry Christmas.
