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Tag: Dwaine Brown







Well now I’ve heard everything. From the Toronto Sun we learn that a fire that burned a cottage to the ground and caused 150,000 dollars in damage was started by a beaver.

The buildings could not be saved but firefighters prevented the flames from spreading to another nearby cottage. Once the fire was out, the cause was not apparent, not until investigators realized a tree was down on a power line and they could see the distinctive marks of beaver chewing. Other beaver-chewed trees were down in the area as well. “It chewed through one of these trees, the tree fell on one of these high voltage lines, shorting the line,” said South Frontenac Fire Chief Rick Chesebrough. The power was conducted through the tree into the ground, igniting leaves and dry brush.  “With the wind blowing toward the cottage, away it went,” he said.  The cottage is about 20 km north of Kingston.

Give that man some credit because I read a lot of beaver accusations and THAT has got to be the best. Of course its theoretically possible that a beaver could could chew a tree that falls into power lines and a spark ignites brush. Just like the wind could blow a tree over and the spark ignites brush. But blaming beavers is a nice touch. It might be my favorite “Wanted” poster ever.

Well, except for those lawyers who that said the South American beavers were eating fish and getting super large. That was my all time-favorite. Gosh, where were those attorneys  from anyway? Ontario! Hmm…Where that fireman was from? Now look, I’m sure its just a coincidence. It’s not like I’m saying the whole province blames beavers for every possible thing they can think of. I’m sure there are very reasonable people in Ontario who respect the backs of their nickles. Well not counting Mr. Spackman and this letter to the editor which I’m told was originally even more offensive and inflammatory and was edited accordingly. He says trapping is the second-oldest profession in canada (get it? prostitution being the first) The highlight of his diatribe against humans who impose their humanity upon things is its stunning conclusion which approaches a first-amendment argument.

In closing I would just like to say if we humans are going to be an invasive species the least we can do is be good at it, so the next time you see a trapper out protecting our infrastructure pat him on the back and thank him for saving you tax dollars to fix the damage that would have occurred had he not done his job. Don’t take a picture of his butt crack and put it in the local paper, I actually feel that MAY BE BORDERING ON PERVERTED.

Dwaine Brown: A Proud Trapper

Dwaine, allow me to personally reassure you that I regard trappers with every bit as much respect as I regard prostitutes. I fully understand both groups maintain a valuable societal role in allowing a failed and onerous patriarchy to perpetuate its myths and chauvinisms. Moveover, rest assured with my pledge to you, that I, at least, will never under any circumstances, succumb to the irrisistible temptation to photograph your butt crack.

Feel better?

I don’t want to accuse an entire province but never mind. Let’s be provincial. Ontario is INSANE when it comes to beavers. I’m sorry but its true.  There is a dark age of beaver fear and ignorance and you and Ohio (and parts of Pennsylvania),  are it!

Anyway, the fire’s out now, and lord knows the offending arsonists have been dealt with.

In the mean time, here are some excellent pictures of a more constructive nature. This is Adrian Nelson. He is the director of Communications at Fur-bearer Defenders in British Columbia, which is apparently slightly less insane about beavers. He’s installing a flow device in Langley. The photos are from their facebook page and the full essay is here.

You can see he’s using the domed top design of Mike Callahan (Skip uses a flat top like our round-fence) and is attaching the fencing with hog rings

(remember Skip using wire and the hollow pipe to twist it around from the New Mexico training video?), so I think Adrian must have trained with Mike on some occasion.Anyway I can’t tell you how THRILLED I am to have a new face on the beaver saving team,

and a young face at that.

Adrian, we here at Worth A Dam hope you stick around for a long, long time!!!

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