The rodent refuses to play by our rules

They grace our money and symbolize our national parks. Yet Canada is in conflict with the beaver. Its hard work and tenacity – traits we value – also put them at odds with us, explains Glynnis hood in this edited excerpt from The beaver manifesto

Early settlers wore beaver hats to keep warm and not for any sort of symbolism for or against the rodent. This one was spotted on the head of executive board member Paul Pruszynski at the 2006 Turin Olympic Winter Games. Photograph by: Donald Miralle, Getty Images, Calgary Herald

Go check out the glorious Glynnis Hood article in this sunday’s Calgary Herald. It is an excerpt from her new book and squarely confronts the myriad of reasons we dislike beavers – even though like broccoli or brusell sprouts – we know they’re good for us.

So why all the conflict between beavers and humans? My theory is that two control freaks will battle over the same tree until long after the last of its stump decays back into the forest. Humans simply do not like to be outdone by a rodent, plain and simple. The historical record, however, shows that not only the beaver but also the Norway rat and the mouse have almost always won the war. Although cockroaches are touted as the most persistent animals on the planet, they were never trapped for their furs, turned into hats or marketed as a perfume. The evidence is in, and rodents rule the world.

Hmm….When I was chatting with the grad student at the beaver dam about what research remains to be done I was tempted to say, “We don’t need any more research! We know beavers are good for water and insects and fish and birds and riparian borders and pollutants and soil and mammals and climate change! They only research left to do is why in the hell we are so resistant to an investment in our creeks that will do our job for us!”

(But being that her field is NOT psychology, that topic probably won’t inspire a dissertation.)

Go read the article, but I would venture to disagree with Glynnis on one point. Beavers aren’t control freaks. They could never have adapted as well as they have if they insisted on having things ‘their way’. I have seen beavers tolerate intrusions, thefts and interruptions a human could never endure. Beavers are more like very persistent buddists. They work very hard to do what’s possible, but when things are not possible they give up and do it somewhere else.

We should all be so pragmatic.

Speaking of what’s impossible, yesterday the universe has decided to play the very funny joke on me in the form of a trojan that opens security doors to my computer every time I do a google search. I am furiously working to repair it because an internet without the capacity to search is very like a perfectly tuned automobile with no tires, and a very very bad idea for anyone who saves beavers for a hobby. Microsoft said, pah, I don’t see anything! Anti-Malware said, ooh there’s something nasty but its too big for me to get. I am now on the 15 hour of an Ad-aware scan, and then it will be time to bring in the big guns, so wish me luck!