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Mutiny over the Bounty


Beauregard police jurors to consider beaver bounty

Beauregard Parish police jurors are looking at ways to put the parish’s busiest builders out of work. Police jurors say beavers are damming ditches and causing flooding problems in the parish.

Police jurors on Tuesday said complaints from residents have prompted discussion on starting a beaver bounty program. Police jurors took no action Tuesday on the issue, but said they plan for more discussion in coming weeks.

This isn’t the first time the panel has considered a bounty. In 2009, police jurors said beavers dams were causing issues at Bundick Lake and elsewhere in the parish.

First of all, and I believe I speak for everyone when I say this, what the heck is a “police juror”? It sounds like an absolutely terrible idea. Like a “Nazi dentist” or “Pyrotechnic Hairdresser”! 
The Police Jury

The Police Jury system is a pattern for local governance that is unique to the state of Louisiana. Members of the Police Jury are elected by the voters of the parish, and the Jury functions as both the legislative and executive branch of government for the parish. Its members – Jurors – elect a President as their chairman. This President presides over the Police Jury and serves as head of the parish government.

Only two branches of government? I’m actually disappointed, you’d think they’d be able to sneak the judicial in there somewhere, too. Are they armed? (Don’t be silly, Heidi. It’s LOUISIANA, the janitors are armed.) Well apparently the alligators aren’t enough of a deterrent and they need to reward citizens for killing their beavers.

And second of all, is this really the best way you can think of to handle the problem? You know the Clemson Pond Leveler was invented in Georgia and that’s like two states away. My mother is from Louisiana so I know there are smart people in the Parish, just waiting for you to do better. In the meantime the Police Jury will look into creating Beaver Bounties to fix the problem and I will contemplate how much more quickly jurors could reach a unanimous decision if they were armed.

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