Tragedy has struck a nice Canadian neighborhood. I’m sure the Mounties are interviewing the usual suspects. I anticpate a phone call any minute.

Beaver bench stolen from central Edmonton neighbourhood

All that’s left of the Holdsworths’ prized beaver bench, that just last week sat proudly in front of their Inglewood home, is splinters and drag marks. You could say the evidence proving foul play is “dam-ing.”

“I think that somebody obviously saw it,” said owner Sue Holdsworth. “They scoped it out, saw how hard it was to remove and came prepared with tools, a truck, and chain and probably yanked it out.”

The Holdsworths commissioned the beaver bench from artist Joe Renaud in 2007.

Holdsworth says they wanted a bench because her mother-in-law would come from England and couldn’t walk very far around the neighbourhood without having to sit down. This prompted her husband to commission the bench.

“He really did it just in the interest of making the neighbourhood more walkable,” said Holdsworth, “and for him it was really boring just to have a bench, so he called for a piece of public art.”

Sad times are these when passing hooligans can steal a beaver bench at will! What were the neighbors doing anyway? And why didn’t they notice a truck hauling away a beaver bench with a chain? Hmm. Maybe they paid him or her to do it. It’s not the loveliest likeness I’ve ever seen. I mean it’s not THIS, for instance.

More clues that this beaver campaign is catching on. Here’s a letter from someone named Penelope M. Blair from Moab Utah. The best part is that I don’t recognize her name or know anything about her. I love when we find friends we never knew we had!

Beaver believer

Regarding Avery McGaha’s wetland article (“A desert oasis, lost and found,” HCN, 12/21/15): Instead of cattails, the cienega should have native willows and cottonwoods. Instead of messing around with logs and dams of his own making, A.T. Cole should import some beavers. The beavers belong in that ecosystem and would do a much better job of restoring it. They can even take an arroyo, with intermittent water, and make dams with mud and stones and bring it back to a healthy system. If Mr. Cole would use the help of beavers instead of trying to be a human beaver, he wouldn’t have to worry about floods; the beavers would prevent those. The areas where beavers are allowed to do their thing are amazing. Yeah, beavers!

Penelope M. Blair
Moab, Utah

A sister from another mister! My long lost twin! Nicely done, Penny. I think Penelope must be friends with someone we know. Last I heard one Mary Obrien lived in Moab Utah, so maybe they have coffee together every Tuesday morning. It doesn’t matter. She’s obviously family, and I’m thrilled she said what needed to be said!

No new products today, as no one decided to be generous yesterday, although there were many candidates. One thing that we CAN celebrate is that Robin of Napa agreed to do the bid sheets again for the auction, and that is a truly wonderful thing. She did a stellar job last year, and you have no idea how strangely it affects you brain to write things like this over and over!