Because the beaver isn't just an animal; it's an ecosystem!

Hyperbole 9News


Using beaver deceivers to lower dam water

The Beaver is nocturnal and the second largest rodent in the world. While their dams provide ponds to protect against predators – right now in Fraser those dams are flooding the town with drainage pipes underwater – potentially causing more damage downstream.

 There’s water inlets and outlets all along here that are getting clogged up,” Durbin said.

So, the plan is to use a secret weapon to outsmart the beaver – taking PVC pipe and punching holes in beaver dams to let the water out.  The devices they call beaver deceivers.  “The beaver deceiver we had was working keeping the pond levels lower,” Durbin said.

 The only problem is that the bold beavers are deceiving the beaver deceivers and plugging up the pipes.

When I was two I used to turn my red tricycle upside down and crank the peddle around to make it an “Ice cream truck”.  I could ask people what flavor they wanted and magically make it appear from the spokes. I could even make the little tune of the truck on its rounds.

It resembled an ACTUAL ice cream truck in much the same as a pipe stuck through a dam resembles a true beaver deceiver.

Goodness people will work very hard to avoid doing the right thing, won’t they?  We are so lucky that the city manager of Martinez at the time didn’t listen to all the folks at that November 7th meeting and instruct our public works crew to “stick a pipe through the dam” to make a deceiver. Because when our beavers plugged the pipe (as any beaver yet known to man will almost certainly do) the city would have gotten rid of them as quickly as Fraser.

Call this a “people deceiver”. Because it appears to solve the problem humanely and is in fact guaranteed to fail and justify a more lethal solution. As I once said of the bumbling Bakersfield“,

We tried saving the beavers humanely by wrapping the trees in cellophane and hello kitty dolls, but it just didn’t work!”

The town administrator already knows what to do because he’s gotten several letters from yours truly. I will write him again, because it is theoretically possible that there might be hope for this bewildered steward yet.

Unfortunately I can’t same the same for the news team. Sheesh.

 

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