GETTING THE STORY WRONG

This morning I noticed a children’s book review about Frog and Beaver, and I thought “Oh good, there’s a children’s book about how important beaver are to frogs!”

What was I thinking? Silly silly heidi.

A charming ecological fable of community and friendship from award-winning author-illustrator Simon James.

An ecological fable! I rubbed my palms together excitedly and settled in. Sure, beavers never swim on their backs, but hey, frogs don’t talk to them either so I can suspend disbelief long enough to enjoy a good story. What’s this one about?

Frog and his friends all live happily together on the river. At least they do until Beaver comes along.

Uh-oh.

Beaver is determined to build the biggest and best dam that anyone has ever seen, but it’s so big that it stops all the water and Frog and his friends are forced to move.

Isn’t that JUST like the selfish ecosystem engineer, Ruining the pond for everyone else with his me-first damming behavior. I mean the what’s the poor frog to do?

Frog tries to tell Beaver that his dam is getting too big, but Beaver just won’t listen. Before long, Beaver’s dam is so huge that it stops all the water in the river, and Frog and his friends must move upstream.

But diverted water also needs somewhere to go, and soon Beaver will learn that only one force is stronger than a mighty river — friendship.

Are you fricken kidding me? The beaver’s selfish plan ruins the pond for everyone else until a loyal and civic minded amphibian shows him the truth?

Was this written by the frog-legs lobby?

Now from a young age children can be taught how DANGEROUS beaver dams are and how important it is to stop them. This will sell a million copies in Massachusetts. All the animals in the ponds lives and homes are threatened by that egocentric beaver, who’s like an oil company just ruining the landscape for his own benefit.

(Never mind all the research about how essential beaver ponds are to amphibian survival or the volumes of work written about the ecosystem services a beaver provides.)

Is there a sequel about Jack Trapper the super-hero?