Have you ever noticed how people complain about beavers until they want something from them? Yes, we noticed that too. It’s like that annoying roommate you had in college who always talked smack about you and hung out with her other buds until she needed help with her latin paper and ooh then she was your BEST friend ever.

England is doing that with beavers and flooding lately.

Beavers in Gloucestershire’s Forest of Dean ‘settling in well’

A second pair of beavers released in the Forest of Dean as part of a scheme to tackle flood risk are said to be settling in well – and building dams.

The beavers replaced a pair introduced in 2018, the first in Gloucestershire for 400 years, as part of a wider plan to return the animal to the UK’s wild.

But they had to to be trapped and moved after seven months when one was found to have tapeworm, a parasitic disease.

The new pair took their place at the same site near Lydbrook in the autumn.

Beavers were hunted to extinction in the UK in the 16th Century. But efforts have been made to reintroduce them to the wild in areas including Somerset, Yorkshire and Cumbria, while they have also been living wild in areas around the River Tay in Scotland for some years since escaping or being illegally released some years ago.

Oooh sure. You probably GAVE them the tape worm in the first place. But sure get rid of those beavers and start over. How’s it going so far?

Forestry England said their replacements had been captured in Scotland, from different areas of the River Tay. It said the “necessary health checks” had been carried out and the female had been released in the autumn followed by the male a few weeks later.

Rebecca Wilson, from Forestry England, said cameras at the site showed the beavers were “dam building and tree felling” and had “settled in well”.

“Nocturnal dam building is creating deep pools of water, slowing the brook’s flow,” she said. “The tree felling followed by coppicing trees will bring benefits for a variety of wildlife that depends upon more complex habitats.”

Well sure. Now that you have some do-over beavers let them get to work. I’m so old I can remember when a servant or pet got a tape worm you treated him with 9.99 worth of pills instead of killed and replaced. But what do I know?

It is hoped the animals will help prevent flooding in the area by improving biodiversity and building dams and ponds.

The authority said it would be monitoring the “hydrological and ecological changes” the beavers make.

As in, none of the kids really like Martin, and we never, ever play with him. But we invited him to Scott’s birthday party because “It was hoped he would bring his complete set of Pokeman cards” which everyone wants.

Good luck, beavers.