A Conservative member of the Red Chamber has laid an unexpected smack down on one of Canada’s national symbols, by suggesting that it is time for the beaver to head back to the dam.Senator Nicole Eaton says the beaver is a “dentally defective rat” that owes its current prominence to its former popularity as a source material for fancy hats in days gone by.
And you thought politicians don’t do anything useful! At last a real platform lots of bitter beaver-baiters can get behind! One clear-eyed visionary thinks it’s crazy to have beaver as the national symbol just because Canada was explored and developed and founded by its fur trade. Who cares if the rodents work hard and have a plucky demeanor? Nicole has another idea.
Instead, she is advocating the polar bear as a replacement — or for the Arctic resident to at least share the honor with the beaver — and calling on her fellow senators to help promote her initiative. “The polar bear, with its strength, courage, resourcefulness, and dignity is perfect for the part,” Eaton said.
Plus we’ve pretty much eliminated the polar bear (or will in the next ten years) and those creepy rodents are everywhere! Yes, I’m sure this kind of decisive flag-waving is the reason Nicole’s constituents elected her to office, and I can’t imagine there’s a more pressing concern on Canadians’ minds’ than the status of the animal who’s on the back of their nickels. Afterall, as the economy worsens and people continue to lose money and jobs, each nickel will become of increasing importance.
Don’t say Nicole doesn’t care about the poor.
The proposal irks Michael Runtz, a natural history professor at Carleton University and a passionate supporter of the beaver as a Canadian emblem.
“How many Canadians have actually seen a polar bear first hand? Beavers are across the country, they’re coast to coast,” he said Friday on CTV’s Power Play. “And more than that, they are like Canadians. Their demeanour is very pleasant,” he added. “Polar bears inspire fear.”
Well this should be interesting. Even as I wrote this post I heard just now from the Canadian filmmaker who’s doing a beaver documentary for CBC and an English friend that it aired on the BBC. I guess Nicole might get her 15 minutes. Maybe we could do a photo shoot with a polar bear and the politician for the dailies? You know something with a play on the politicians name, “Eaton”.
Closer…closer…just a little bit closer…
