Because the beaver isn't just an animal; it's an ecosystem!

Beaver Contrarian


More castor-kvetching from the state that believes no one has suffered like they have suffered under the 1996 trapping restrictions. Never mind that the new rules still allow beavers to be killed – no questions asked, just using a slightly different weapon. Never mind that the new rules allow beavers to be killed in the traditional ways with the old weapons if a few simple conditions are met. Never mind that most towns end up doing just exactly what they would have always done anyway.

It’s the animal-lovers fault. It’s got to be.

SOUTHBOROUGH

“Earlier this month, a Wood Street resident called town officials to complain about rising water in her backyard threatening her septic system. The Department of Public Works deduced that a culvert 48 inches across had been blocked, but it took a little digging to find out how.

“The employee crawled into the pipe and found a beaver dam,” DPW Superintendent Karen Galligan wrote in a memo to the Board of Health. Southborough Health Agent Paul Pisinski said the Board of Health unanimously approved a 10-day emergency trapping permit for the DPW as well as a 30-day extension if it’s needed.”

Brad Petrishen

Memo! Don’t tell me that burdensome PETA-law forced DPW to write a MEMO to the health department!!!!! It’s outrageous to make our hard-working men and women of public works write a memo! And after all that exhausting DEDUCTION and crawling into a pipe too! Now the health deparment has to take valuable time away from their immunization shots and e coli outbreaks to casually hold a unanimous vote! Ohhh the humanity! No wonder nothing gets done in government when our officials time gets swallowed by molehills of paperwork and casual slaughterhouse agreements!

A lesser mind might read that article and think, gosh, the rules worked the way they were supposed to – an exception to a rule was granted for a serious concern and the problem is swiftly going to be solved. Ahhh but that mind would be wrong. This article isn’t about the system working. It’s about the icky, icky law that made all this necessary.

“Some may wonder why the Board of Health, not a state agency such as the Massachusetts Division of Fisheries and Wildlife, is signing off on such a request.  The answer lies in a 1996 ballot referendum that shifted the authority for permitting from MassWildlife to local boards of health. More importantly, the question barred trappers from using certain types of traps – a decision that wildlife experts say has led to an explosion in the beaver population, with accompanying problems.

People had good intentions when they banned so-called inhumane leg-hold and lethal body-gripping traps, Larson said, but they probably had no idea that the decision would lead to a beaver increase. “Beavers are rodents, and they breed like rodents,” she said. “They don’t have many predators since they live 80 percent of their lives in the water, so they’re becoming very prolific.”

The body-gripping trap is not much more than an enlarged mouse trap, Larson said, without which trappers have either had a difficult time trapping beavers or given up and moved on to a different animal.

“Beaver are taking advantage of even the most marginal habitats for creating housing for themselves,” she said. “It’s quite a challenge for everybody concerned.”

Beavers taking advantage! And trappers out of work because it’s too hard  to set up the suitcase! My my my. Something these columns just write themselves. Do you think Marion wants to be my new BFF?

But when I try in here to tell you, dear

I love you madly, madly, Madam Librarian…Marian

It’s a long lost cause I can never win

For the civilized world accepts as unforgivable sin

Any talking out loud with any librarian

Such as Marian…..Madam Librarian.

But when I try, out here to tell you dear

That kindly killing doesn’t change beaver ovarian, Marion!

It’s a long lost cause I can never win

For the petulant state regards it a terrible sin

Spending a moment’s thought or a stroke of a pen

Without Marion…..beaver contrarian…

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