Flatline Learning Curve

Oh, look what’s in the paper at Bakersfield.com! More stories about the River walk beavers terrorizing trees and earning extermination.

The trees or the beaver? The beaver or the trees? It’s a question to bedevil even the most ardent of nature lovers and one being debated yet again after a weekend bender by the infamous bike path beaver made toothpicks of a pair of good-size cottonwoods at the Park at River Walk.

What a confounding riddle for environmentalists everywhere! Clearly there is no possible way to take care of both the beavers AND the trees.  The article goes on to describe the never-before-faced insurmountable conflict where the city is forced to spend hard earned dollars removing tree stumps after the ruthless rodent attacks. It poignantly illustrates city staff’s good hearted plight in their noble effort to wrap trees with this telling photograph.

The mind reels. The jaw drops…The fingers type:

Monogamous Herbivore threatens to Improve Habitat!

If Bakersfield doesn’t act now, its quiet River walk runs the risk of having recklessly improved water quality[1], increased wildlife[2], greater bird density[3], and returning salmon[4]. Important drought conditions may be mitigated[5]. Obviously something has to be done to prevent this neglected little stretch of scrubby trees from becoming an actual habitat.

Fortunately the department of public works knows just how to uselessly apply non-solutions that assure the appearance of unstoppable damage and will ultimately mean the beavers merit a final solution. Bravely ignoring countless prescriptions to wire wrap trees for protection or paint the trunks with a sandy coating, dedicated staff were clever enough not only to use orange construction plastic, but to garner media attention for doing so! “We tried saving the beavers humanely by wrapping the trees in cellophane and hello kitty dolls, but it just didn’t work!”

Diane Hoover, the director of public works, notes that it can cost up to 500 dollars to remove the stump and replace the trees. Clearly she is well aware that if these stumps of Populus fremontii were left in the ground they would continue to prevent erosion and coppice to sprout future growth. This new growth would run the risk of producing dense bushy cover that would be a haven for ghettos of nesting migratory birds. Much better to chop out every remaining stick!

Thank goodness there are heroes like Eric Covington of the USDA to come to the rescue and protect Bakersfield from these furry eco-terrorists. This large governmental body is every bit as committed to the environment as Chevron or Walmart, and more importantly understands the important role that beavers play in employing trappers.

Yes, Bakersfield seems to have all the tools necessary for not at all solving this problem. If, however, there is a single person in the entire city that would like to consider actual humane alternatives that work, they can contact Worth A Dam at www.martinezbeavers.org/wordpress, and we can easily show them how its done.

Heidi Perryman, Ph.D.

President & Founder

Worth A Dam