Thank goodness. No amazing news for beavers today. Finally we can catch our breath and have some fun. Enjoy! Tomorrow they’ll be updates about this afternoon’s tree planting by California Conservation Core interns. Until then, you get the very best beaver fluff pieces.
VIOLENCE between beaver and otter gangs is spiralling out of control.
Beavers have been reintroduced to river environments, prompting a deadly backlash from heavily armed otters.
Naturalist Emma Bradford said: “We knew the otters were violent but did not anticipate that the beavers had their own gangs like Dam U 2 Hell Crew, Beevs and Buck Tooth Massive.
“The otters had been moving a lot of crack and meth up and down the River Frome, but the beavers built dams in key areas and demanded a ‘tax’ to let them through.”
Gunplay ensued, with nine voles, a moorhen and an environmentalist doing a study on breeding patterns among those caught in the crossfire.
Bradford added: “I would stay away from the riverbanks even if you really want a picnic.”
However beaver M-Phibious said: “We got nothing but love. Just chewing some logs, that’s all.
“But if otters come to us then shit could get really real.”
Hahahahahaha. News trying to be wittingly comic really shouldn’t be encouraged in any way (M-Phibious!) but this made me giggle. Otters lead such charmed lives, rolling about being cute and posing for photos. Hardly anyone wants to kill them and they never get accused of flooding roads or plugging culverts.
Intrepid beaver reporter that I am, I took some time to look around for footage to go with this story. This is perfect.
